


paint me in black (and ruin me)

by thosepurpleskies



Category: LOONA (Korea Band)
Genre: Enemies to Friends to Lovers, F/F, Fluff and Angst, heewon dance au, stream seulrene's feel good
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-10-10
Updated: 2020-11-04
Packaged: 2021-03-08 04:29:19
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 4,732
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26929678
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thosepurpleskies/pseuds/thosepurpleskies
Summary: chaewon is the dance prodigy of solis academy but she's not exactly the easiest to get along with.heejin is the academy's sweetheart but she's not as nice as she seems.what happens when they're forced to work together in order for chaewon to pass her evaluation...
Relationships: Jeon Heejin/Park Chaewon | Go Won
Comments: 12
Kudos: 40





	1. one

_park chaewon… she’s never going to amount to anything… she’s only in the program because her parents paid for the spot…_

the whispers swirl around chaewon - a constant buzzing swarm of angry wasps that followed her throughout her life. 

the desire for excitement and something more had been been a dull itch within her mind from a young age. the ease with which chaewon’s parents would grant every one of her desires had long since dulled into boredom and that boredom had gnawed at her, fuelled her thirst for even the slightest hint of electricfying adrenaline as it thrummed through her veins. it was common knowledge that chaewon’s parents were extremely influential within society hence one would bat an eye at chaewon’s delinquency, and it would be swept under the rug in exchange for neatly written numbers and startling donations. however despite the feigned ignorance of her behaviour, the whispers had haunted chaewon - quiet slurs flung her way by authority figures and crowds of nameless faces. 

maybe her behaviour was a desperate cry for attention and affection from parents who had chose to be more involved in their professional affairs. maybe it was the result of falling in with the wrong crowd. on the rare occasion when someone would gather the courage to ask chaewon about it directly rather than speculate over her life choices in low murmurs, she would shrug whilst wisps of silvery smoke escaped from her lips: “the rumours are definitely more interesting than the actual story…i can tell you that.”

and so people treated her as if she was nothing more than another statistic. a cautionary tale that parents would tell to their children.but it wasn’t as if chaewon gave much thought toward their opinions, for there weren’t many things that she was truly concerned about.

except dancing. it was her lone passion and the only thing which enabled park chaewon to cling to the tiniest semblance of normalcy within her life. dance wasn’t a mere hobby for her; the cadences and intricacies of each movement flitting through her thoughts at every waking moment. it was what she lived for and it came so naturally to her, to the extent where gleaming trophies and silk ribbons adorned almost every surface within her bedroom. dance was also her escape - her scholarship to one of the most prestigious academies within the country allowed her to be far away from the frigid mansion that she deemed to be ‘hell on earth’. 

“miss park may i speak to you for a moment.”

chaewon blinks and hastily rubs her eyes, vision clouded from her unflinching stare at ticking silver hands. 

“miss park you’re one of the most talented students on the course. possibly even the most talented,” 

a smirk tugs at her lips as chaewon basks in the praise and she stands straighter, “oh why thank you professor-”

but the blonde’s sentence is left trailing off when the professor before her holds up a hand. 

“ _however._ talent is not quite enough when you are either late for my classes or sleeping through them,” the blonde shoves her hands into her pockets and pointedly averts her gaze towards the wooden flooring, “miss park, you know as well as i do that your place at this academy isn’t solely based on your performance during the evaluations, your grades and how well you work together with the other students are also factors in the decision.”

there’s a soft click as chaewon clenches and unclenches her jaw. it’s through gritted teeth and a thinly stretched smile that she finally speaks. 

“so what would you have me do then _professor_?”

“in order to demonstrate that you are capable of working with someone else, you will be assigned to work with jeon heejin. and yes, you will be evaluated together based on the choreography that the both of you should have worked together on. do i make myself clear chaewon?”

“crystal.”

chaewon nods sharply before stalking out of the studio knuckles pale from her tight grip on the leather strap of her bag. 

_fuck. fuckfuckfuckfuck._

and as the thought spirals within the caverns of her mind chaewon finds herself running, the thud of her sneakers echoing within silent hallways. it’s only when she registers the rapid clawing of her heart against the confines of her chest that she slows down. plumes of silvery smoke slip past her lips and she shivers as the chill of the early winter air cuts at the warmth of her skin. 

“good job wonnie, you’re such an idiot. you’ll probably freeze to death before you finish walking back to the academy.” chaewon sighs and kicks at gravel until the tips of her white sneakers are marred with scuffs. 

“you know,” the blonde swivels around at the amused drawl which interrupts her, “talking to yourself is the first sign of madness.” 

chaewon barely suppresses a snort of laughter at the sight before her. a brunette grins at her from underneath a bright pink beanie with flopping rabbit ears and an orange scarf that obscures most of that lopsided smile.

“you’re one to talk,” the blonde nods towards the puffy baby blue coat that seems to swallow the brunette’s willowy frame, “you look like a box of crayons and a marshmallow swallowed you whole.” 

the brunette’s eyes glitter with laughter. “yes but i’m not the one whose standing outside in a tank top. and here i was about to offer you my coat….”

chaewon’s gaze flickers between the blue coloured monstrosity and the tiny clusters of powdered snow that lie beneath her shows. 

“fine. mayiborrowyourcoat?”

“i’m sorry, what was that?” 

“may i please borrow your coat,” the blonde squeezes her eyes shut and counts to ten, repeating the numbers backwards again, before repeating herself.

“what’s your name anyways?”

“heejin, jeon heejin. but you can call me yours.” 

the faint yellow glow of chaewon’s lamp spills through the room and casts shadows over its utilitarian nature. the lack of pictures and scatter of personal belongings would prompt one to assume that the room was unoccupied, in fact the only sign that chaewon inhabited the room, would be the rumpled covers that hang off the edges of a wooden frame.

a muffled buzz cuts into the silence and chaewon glares at the offending object, its cracked screen lighting up with the notification of an incoming call. 

“now is not a good time jinsoul.”

“well hello to you too wonnie. i take it someone had a bad day?”

jinsoul’s laugh crackles through the speaker and chaewon feels the corner of her lips lift into a smile.

“oh just the same old shit. professor kang telling me that i could pay more attention and that i need to be better at working with other people blah blah.”

“and that is a problem because?”

“because now the chances of me passing the upcoming evaluation depend on someone else and i hate depending on other people okay!” the blonde sneers and sinks into the comfort of her mattress. 

“….okay look i know this isn’t exactly ideal for you but promise me chaewon that you’ll be nice and you won’t do anything drastic.”

“i’m not a child jinsoul.”

the other woman sighs in exasperation. the sound echoes and mingles with the lukewarm breeze that rustles through the vacant silence of chaewon’s room. 

“just don’t give her a hard time wonnie. i’ve got to go study i’ll catch you later” 

the call drops with a resounding beep that rings in chaewon’s ears long after it had truly ended; shadows of the late afternoon dance against unadorned walls and lost in thought, the blonde studies their indigo forms.

_well then jeon heejin, i sincerely hope for both our sakes that you’re good at what you do. because if not…this is going to be painful for the both of us._


	2. two

jeon heejin, chaewon learns, is extremely well-liked amongst the students within solis academy. at least that was what she had been able to deduce from asking a select few whom she could tolerate. and yet despite all this, the blonde doesn’t ever recall seeing the brunette at showcases or within the studios, nor does she remember ever hearing of a jeon heejin. 

“i’m just saying it’s fucking weird.”

“ha sooyoung stop eating your damn sandwich and pay attention to me.”

barring jinsoul, sooyoung is the only other exception to chaewon’s avoidance of forming relationships with others. the taller woman had whirled through the blonde’s prickly nature albeit with some difficulty; reassuring chaewon after the results of her initial evaluations had been the opposite of what she had expected and staying with the blonde for every practice session no matter how late.

“or you’re just being paranoid. chaewon you’re smart but sometimes you can be such an idiot.” 

chaewon slurps at her carton of juice, petulantly frowning at the woman seated across her. “enlighten me then, oh tall stringy one.” 

“well not when you call me that.”

“just fucking tell me why ha sooyoung!” 

“well i don’t know chaewon, maybe because she’s new?” sooyoung’s voice is muffled from chewing her sandwich but the sarcasm rings clear within her response. 

“besides it’s not exactly as if you pay attention to what goes on anyways. you’re what people call…self obsessed.”

“well i would if the people were interesting enough.” 

the blonde slouches against the table, falling silent whilst she glares at the sandwich that limply sits within the metal slot of her lunch tray.

until her frustration shatters the tranquility. as well as the surface of the sandwich, with her fork piercing the bread and standing upright. 

“why does everyone like her then! they don’t even know whether she can dance well!” 

“hey,” the fork loudly clatters to the table as sooyoung leans over to gently uncurl the blonde’s fingers, “heejin wouldn’t be at solis if she wasn’t able to impress the administration panel. don’t worry so much okay?”

_but i can’t stop worrying. my scholarship is on the line…not to mention the constant thought of having to hear my parents brand me as a failure yet again._

chaewon musters a grin.

“yeah…you’re right soo.”

“jungie!!!” 

“hey what’s up dude,”

“oh my god wait is that the newest issue of…”

_oh my god! shut up._

chaewon weighs the consequences of banging her head against the mirrored walls, ultimately reconsidering upon the possibility of bluish-purple stains marring her immaculate complexion. rather she settles for closing her eyes and resting her cheek against the cool surface.

“well someone woke up on the wrong side of bed today.”

“hey chaewon or should i say partner,”

the blonde cracks open an eye at the disturbance to be greeted with the sight of a familiar brunette. a brunette who beamed at her with a smile that was all too bright for the late hour of their scheduled practices.

“it’s ten-thirty. you’re a whole fifteen minutes late which means i have to wait till you’re done with stretching and basic movements before we can start.” 

“sorry i’ll be here earlier next time. wait…here i got this for you,” pale fingers clutch at a bottle in proffering, “i thought you’d be tired and i didn’t know whether you’d want coffee, so i just got you an energy drink.”

chaewon’s stare flickers from the outstretched hand to the wide grin. a wave of immense irritation surges within her stomach, warm and unpleasant when it finally crashes. 

_i don’t know what’s worse. her stupid smile or the fact that she doesn’t even understand what’s at stake here._

“i’m good. just hurry up so we can get this over with.”

“the sooner the better,” she mutters, missing the flash of anger and the scowl that twists at heejin’s features. 

“you’re doing it wrong.”

“i think you mean better.”

“just follow my fucking directions, jeon. and maybe visit an optician if you think that was remotely good in any way.”

“you know what-”

“ladies how are we doing?”

_damn. just as things were about to get interesting._

with that thought chaewon pulls her gaze away from gradually darkening swirls of umber and coughs lightly. 

“perfect professor.”

“yep we were just discussing how we could modify this particular sequence. i just think the movements are a little clumsy and aren’t as cohesive as they could be, right chaewon?” 

the saccharine lilt within the brunette’s voice surprises chaewon. upon the realisation that the brunette is just as adept at weaving lattices of deceit, a vicious retort coils itself around her tongue but not before chaewon realises that her facade of composed politeness has to be kept intact, bitterness coating her senses when she has to concede. 

“of course heejin.” 

with the exception of those three words, chaewon chooses to remain silent for the duration of the conversation in favour of watching heejin demonstrate the progression of their ideas. her contempt for dependency on others could only be rivalled by her hatred of losing, especially at her own game. 

and so her facade of civility immediately fractures the moment that the professor leaves to oversee other students. fingers dig into the flesh of the heejin’s bicep from how tightly she clutches at it, the muscles twitching in response to the pain as chaewon drags her towards a corner within the studio. 

“what the fuck,” the blonde hisses through clenched teeth.

“if you wanted to hold my hand you could’ve just asked you know.” chaewon removes her hand from the brunette’s arm immediately at those words, her stare unflinching as it bores into the woman across her. 

“shut up. and don’t mistake this as concern in any shape or form… but what was that jekyll and hyde situation back there?”

the brunette simply raises an eyebrow in challenge with a smirk playing on those rosy lips. “oh you mean giving you a taste of your own medicine? you’re not the only one who can play that game _princess.”_

heejin hums, low and content as a stray blonde curl is twirled around the brunette’s finger. and chaewon has to swallow hard, heat unfurling in the depths of her stomach at the sound. that flare gradually spreads and spreads until chaewon’s head spins from the feverish warmth and she's left craving the sharp winter breeze against her skin. 

“so you can be a bitch all you want park chaewon but remember this… you’re not the one who’s in control here.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so tell me what we think so far about fruity heewon!!


	3. three

_so you can be a bitch all you want park chaewon but remember this… you’re not the one who’s in control here._

heejin blinks.

“park i-“

before she manages to finish, a dull shockwave of pain blooms from her shoulder as a result of chaewon shoving past her, and heejin can only watch the latter’s receding figure stalk out of the studio.

“didn’t mean it like that.”

_but maybe i should have._

yet even as heejin goes through her choreography and she finally leaves the studio, the thought continues swirling towards the forefront of her mind.

her feet drag against the pavement and she pulls her coat tighter, bracing herself against the icy gusts. and god if heejin wasn’t exhausted but she was helpless to do anything else - she could only afford renting a cramped apartment that was slightly off campus and even so it was barely. she can’t even find it in herself to be surprised at the maintenance sign greets her in front of the elevator, the bitter _home sweet home_ echoing within her thoughts when she eventually stumbles through the front door.

peeling flecks of paint adorn the walls along with several picture frames; a singular couch with its worn fabric occupies most of the space. save for the dull thud of heejin dropping her duffel bag to the floor, the muted whirring of an overhead ceiling fan is the only other bubble of noise that disrupts the quiet.

heejin closes her eyes under the scalding water. stands there until porcelain skin becomes an angry red then scrubs until it stings all over. the tiles are slick with puddles when she steps out, curls of steam trailing after her as her fingers gently combs through inky strands.

she avoids the mirror at all costs. heejin doesn’t want see the person reflected back at her, doesn’t want to see the curve of her lips in a smile, doesn’t need another reminder of how forced it has become.

_because that’s all you can do nowadays… smile through it._

“you have to. especially after all the sacrifices that have been made for you to be at solis,” she furiously swipes at her eyes.

all the while the flimsy windowpanes of her apartment rattle loudly in the dusky night air; thin trails of frost slowly inches against the glass.

“your form’s off.”

heejin turns to see chaewon leaning against the doorway; grimacing when she catches a glimpse of her reflection in the process.

“aww not happy to see me? well newsflash jeon i’m not thrilled to see you either.”

annoyance gnaws within heejin along with the urge to retort with something just as spiteful; contentment bubbling within her at the noxious thought of seeing chaewon’s features crumple with anger.

but heejin can’t afford the risk. she wouldn’t allow herself to get expelled and throw away everything that has been given up for her place at the academy. at least not for the sake of some petty argument.

_at the end of the day we both know that the park princess won’t be the one facing the repercussions._

instead she ignores the blonde’s presence. squeezing her eyes shut and taking a deep breath, her right leg kicks forward with the toes pointed, heejin moving to the nuances of an instrumental plays solely for her.

heejin’s eyes flutter open upon hearing the sound of stilted applause. chaewon’s head is slightly tilted in her scrutiny of the brunette; the sting of an unknown sentiment blooming within heejin’s chest under the intensity of that stare.

she coughs lightly, “i know it probably doesn’t measure up…”

“no it’s fine.”

“for someone of your standards i guessy,” the blonde amends hastily yet her voice is absent of its usual barbed tone.

“i’m doing the best i can,” indignation tinges heejin’s words when chaewon mumbles something else, “everything here is just really different to my previous academy.”

then heejin is left with warmth staining her cheeks when chaewon’s fingers brush against her shoulders. the blonde’s touch is surprisingly gentle whilst she taps at the angular slants to correct the latter’s posture; the faint scent of smoke and peach of chaewon’s perfume entwining around heejin.

“there..much better.”

chaewon’s satisfied hum ghosts over the exposed skin of the brunette’s tank top, forcing heejin to inhale sharply from the shiver that streaks through her. and it’s only when the blonde steps away, taking the warmth that had flooded through brunette’s veins with her, that heejin feels the rapid thudding within her chest decelerate.

“thanks.”

“try it again before you thank me.”

so heejin does - each motion graceful and meticulously executed under the harsh lights of the studio whilst she visualises heavy brocade curtains and breathless impatience from nameless faces. her breath comes in shallow gasps when she finishes; reaching to brush loose strands away heejin catches the blonde’s gaze out of the corner of her eyes.

there’s a quirk to chaewon’s lips when she appraises heejin’s performance; a subdued glimmer akin to admiration and affection swirling within the ochre depths. however it fades almost as soon as it had appeared and the blonde’s features slip into an impassive mask once again. it’s then that the door swings open to reveal the other students, the empty studio quickly filling with chatter upon their arrival.

“no really, thank you chaewon.” heejin tries again, searches for that foreign glimmer of emotion that had just been displayed.

but chaewon shrugs dissmisively as if she had no recollection of the gesture, “whatever. don’t mention it. or bring it up… like _ever_.”

“park!”

the loud thudding of her footsteps echo in the narrow hallways before the brunette skids to a halt. in front of an unamused blonde. heejin lifts a finger as she hunches over to catch her breath; black leather boots tapping against the flooring all the while.

“do you mind? some of us actually have better things to do than wait for you to stop being winded.”

“okay i’m good now. yeah,” chaewon’s glare is frigid as she waits for heejin to finish, “do you…i mean would you…”

“just spit it out already!”

“would you want to maybe get coffee with me?”

heejin rubs at the back of her neck before quickly tacking on an explanation. “i mean just to pay you back for helping me.”

chaewon still doesn’t respond; brows arching in what seemed like surprise whilst she stared at heejin. but as if waking from a daydream, the blonde shakes her head and laughs, the sound hollow from disbelief and derision.

“woww,” the frigidity of her words are punctuated by the sneer that distorts her features.

“no i don’t want to get coffee with you. maybe just try not to be such an amateur and fuck up the evaluations, that’ll be payback enough.”

“oh okay.”

the words are quietly mumbled out. heejin bites her lip, the bitter tang of copper coating her tastebuds as she fights the scratchiness within her throat, eyes prickling with humiliation.

“yeah,” chaewon drawls out, “see you around jeon.”

then there’s the soft pat on her shoulder. and heejin stands there numbly, stare fixated on the grey that speckles the linoleum under her feet, long after chaewon’s shadow had faded from sight.

_yeah maybe i should’ve meant what i said the other day._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> soo surprise surprise it's heejin's pov !! and jesus christ chaewon the girl just wants to be nice to you
> 
> [lmk know what we think!!!](https://curiouscat.qa/icysouls)


	4. four

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> yeah this isn't my favourite chapter that i've written :///

“sooo word on the street is that a pretty girl asked you to get coffee and you not only rejected her, you were a real prick about it too.”

strands of an upbeat melody mingles with the light chatter that swirls within the coffee shop. but with everyone seated, the five o’clock lull in the rush of customers and absence of a line, it allows jinsoul to lean against the counter. 

chaewon pauses from arranging various items within the cabinets. her brow quirks from both annoyance and interest when she turns to glare at the other brunette, “i need a competent partner not a friend. and how the fuck did you hear about it, ha sooyoung.”

to her credit sooyoung has the decency to grin sheepishly from her position at the register. “can i just point out that you’re not denying that she’s pretty.”

“and more importantly you didn’t have to be a condescending dick about it.” jinsoul pointedly clears her throat just as sooyoung fervently nods. 

“well i wasn’t about to tell her how i’m working at the only coffee shop for miles because i refuse to have any communication whatsoever with my parents,”

“whatever… it’s not as if they’d pull their heads out of their asses long enough to answer.” 

a derisive scoff slips past her lips. the intensity of jinsoul and sooyoung’s stares causes her skin to prickle with unease, and she kicks the cabinet door shut, petulantly slamming bottles of flavoured syrups onto the worktop. 

two. two hours till the end of my shift. four hours since i started my shift. 

there’s a dull clinking as silver rings clash against the marbled surface with every tap of chaewon’s fingers.

it’s prevailing mannerism of hers to count in multiples. a reassuring familiarity which diverts the wave of restless emotion that sweeps within her. except she can feel it tugging at the edges of her perception and there’s distant roar which signals the impending crash of a clouded tide. 

“chaewon…”

“wonnie are you okay,” she concentrates on the low mumble of jinsoul’s voice and the comforting weight of sooyoung’s hand on her shoulder. wills herself to remain tethered to the scene before her in spite of the hyperrealistic flashes of colour that tinge her vision. 

the blonde winces and her knuckles are pale from tightly grasping the worktop’s edge. words painfully lodge themselves within her throat before they finally stumble out, “i’m fine…shit so that’s uh never happened before.”

“chae maybe you should go home and rest.”

“my shift-”

sooyoung quickly throws a hand up to stop her, “i’ve got it covered. call me if you need anything mkay?”

the moon hangs high amongst wisps of grey mist that night. frigid silver rays beam harshly as shadowy fingers sweep over the silent landscape below. it’s that glaring brightness which greets chaewon when she jolts awake, her limbs caught in a tangle of sheets whilst her chest throbs with the rapid beating of her heart. 

her skin feels cold and clammy when she rubs a hand over her face, allowing her thoughts to carelessly drift in order to avoid the confrontation of whatever had woken her. 

_the brunette twirls and twirls before her - a whirlwind of poise and precision that moves to the swell of an imaginary chorus. bathed in gentle white light the brunette looks almost otherworldly; every curve and slant of those delicate features is illuminated and she can’t tear her eyes away from the sight._

_then the music slows to a halt. the brunette gradually stopping to face her and she finds herself wanting to tuck away those escaped light brown strands._

_instead she settles for meeting that wide brown stare. she wants to say something, anything that will bring her the satisfaction of seeing those beautiful features crumple with hurt, and yet she ultimately stops herself upon seeing fervent eagerness reflected back at her._

_it’s then that the studio doors swing open with the sudden buzz of chatter and the words melt on chaewon’s tongue; sugar trickling down her throat from swallowing the compliment._

“shit,” the profanity echoes within her bedroom.

“pull it together chaewon,” she sighs, “you’ve gotten this far… don’t fuck it all up and prove them right.”

_don’t get distracted._

but when she settles back against her pillow and closes her eyes, it’s now the vision of distress shining clearly in copper eyes that plagues her thoughts.

“jeon.” 

chaewon throws an arm out, palm splayed against cold metal in an attempt to prevent the brunette from exiting the locker room.

“park.”

the brunette’s stare travels from chaewon’s outstretched arm toward the latter’s countenance. displeasure flashing clear and hostile in heejin’s eyes. and her voice drips with scorn when she throws the blonde’s words back at her. “do you mind? some of us actually have better things to do.” 

chaewon clenches her jaw. thinks to herself that there must have been an audible clicking sound from the force of it. 

“ _this_ is for you.” 

she presses a paper cup into the brunette’s grasp, its contents radiating a comforting warmth whilst wisps of white curl from within. she watches as a myriad of emotions flicker over the brunette’s face and the latter’s brow knit with confusion; could laugh at how transparent heejin is.

_why would you wear your heart on your sleeve for all to see._

“you’re always asking to get coffee with me. so take it or leave it,” amusement tinges the blonde’s drawl. 

“i’m assuming this is meant to be an apology?”

chaewon smirks. she shifts her weight to lean in toward the brunette, the darkness that clouds heejin’s gaze registering in the depths of her memory. 

“you assume incorrectly. i still stand by my words, pay me back by doing well in the evaluations. however i,” her mouth contorts with a grimace and she pauses. 

“i suppose… i may have been too harsh when i implied you were an amateur and that you’d fuck up the evaluations.” 

heejin stares at her incredulously, a laugh slipping past her lips as she shakes her head.

“you suppose? and implied? chaewon, you told me that with absolutely no hesitation. jesus you’ve really never apologised much in your life, have you?”

“i can take the coffee back.”

“no i’m keeping it,” the brunette seems to search the blonde’s face for something before she exhales, “look i know you’re definitely not my biggest fan but can we just get through this _please._ i just need to get through this. then you can hate me all you want afterwards.”

“fine. but don’t think that we’re friends or anything just because of this.”

“oh i wouldn’t dream of it princess..”

**Author's Note:**

> [thanks for tuning in and tell me what we think!!!](https://curiouscat.qa/icysouls)


End file.
